Dear younger self,

Dear Younger Self,

Would you forgive me

if I don’t achieve much?

Would you be okay

if every now & then

I feel stuck in a rut?

I don’t know why it happened

but now only certain people

sparkle my soul.

And the things you thought

would make me happy,

I now know

would never make me whole.

I’ve become less of a human

and more of a being.

No wonder that

every dream is dissolving,

even the ones

which I obsessed over as a teen.

There are days when uncertainty & I

spend hours in each other’s presence.

And in this era of hustling & grinding,

I’ve lost & found my true essence.

Dear Younger Self,

I’m afraid, but there are

no plans for tomorrow

for today is what

I’m learning to acknowledge.

And so, the drudgery

feels like a thing of the past

just like those

inebriated nights back in college.

I swear I try,

though it might seem otherwise.

Just learning to let things be,

to refrain from that nocturnal reprise.

I’m not running away from fears

neither am I

flying towards whimsical fantasies.

I’ve just taken an indefinite pause

to get comfortable

with my own reality.

There is an absence of pursuit

and what could be better

than this feeling of bliss.

The ones who had acted all

selfish & bitter

have now been forgiven

but forever dismissed.

Dear Younger Self,

I’m not living a life

or looking for love

rather - I’m life & I’m love.

So, there’s nothing to add

since what was forced, never stayed.

But, it somehow feels enough

of what little which has now remained.

Dear Younger Self,

I hope you haven’t judged me

for that I’ve done enough already.

And, if you still haven’t

deciphered my words,

then all I’m trying to convey is that -

I want to be you again

and finally feel ready.