"Reality does not exist until we measure it", says Quantum Physics. I wish I was smart enough to explain that but I think it means that reality does not exist if you are not looking at it. Similar to how the world refuses to acknowledge sadness unless you have something to show of it. What if I don't have a tangible value of my misery? "Well, you look fine". Sadness does not exist unless you have a visible proof to flash at the world, it seems.
Either make art out of it or look like a beginner's failed painting, red strokes on a paper or red noses, just to show that you feel. This world of ours is tangled amidst characters, one hiding behind the other, one masking one hundred. There is so much ambiguity and unsaid words exchanged every day around us, glances speak volumes while words said tend to be empty. Yet I am expected to put a cost or a tag on my feelings.
What do I do when I have nothing to show? If it is all within me? The darkness within me is so familiar that the lights blind me and I don't know why. There is no reasoning behind it, there is no conclusion or poetry to be produced from it. There are abstract strokes of black all over, the blackest of blacks, yet to be trademarked by the voices within me. I do not have teary eyes, a red nose, or a journal with flowery hyperbole to prove my being. The knell coming from the pit of my stomach is not audible, even though it rings in the pits of my chest. I am on a path to introduce me to myself, or perhaps the idea of me that I clutch on to for dear life.
My sadness does not fall by their definitions and hence it is something that they refuse to accept. It does not just look like me surrounded by beer bottles on a Thursday, unable to get out of bed while mascara runs down my face. It happens to look like me sharing memes with my friends in class. The moment does not last long, it's fleeting, and then there is darkness again. Yet if I say that I am sad, at that moment, nobody would believe me. Is there prose written by you to prove it? Perhaps a Sylvia Plath quote or a Frank Sinatra lyric? Your eyeliner seems perfect, are you sure you are not just hungry?
Maybe Quantum Physics is not for me, or maybe this one theory is not for me. Maybe the one about neutrinos is more hard-hitting to me. Quantum Physics states that neutrinos have no definite flavor- they remain in a state of an identity crisis.